A wise man once told me that the purpose of Fresher’s week was to “get drunk, get laid and get stoned”. Of course, this wise man was in fact our sixth form drugs counsellor, who then went on to convey the dangers of alcohol, the dangers of drugs, and yes, the dangers of sex.
Thankfully my first week at Cardiff wasn’t quite the wild time that many people had expected it to be. Yes there was alcohol, but the drugs and sex were extremely limited. My visit home for Christmas included one of my sister’s friends saying to me, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how many people have you slept with since being at uni?” I did in fact mind him asking, and so answered not quite truthfully, “none actually, I’m waiting until marriage”.
The general consensus of your fresher’s year does seem to be that having lots of sex is the way forward. Second years who I’ve met on a night out have asked me, firstly whether I’m a fresher, then whether I’m single, and finally, whether I have my own room, perhaps with the odd compliment thrown in there too. Is it too much to ask to be able to get dressed up and have a good night out without drunk and randy boys interfering and ruining the fun?
I know, I know, I’m complaining about nothing, what’s so bad with boys hitting on you? But I have horrendous personal space issues. If I make eye contact with a boy in a club, this action does not give him the right to come up behind me and begin that wonderful dance we call the ‘bump and grind’, usually with a number of his friends watching thinking ‘he’s scored’. Well, drunken one, you haven’t actually scored. In fact, my boyfriend is just over at the bar witnessing the whole scenario and preparing to make a move. OK, so he’s not really. I don’t have a boyfriend. But sometimes I feel that the only way these people will get the hint is if your significant other is standing right next to you, a grim look on his face, and even then it can still be tricky to ward off those unwanted termites.
I know what many people’s view will be on reading this, “well you probably dress provocatively, of course people are going to hit on you, it’s not a bad thing”, and no, it’s not a particularly bad thing. People wanting to ‘get to know you’ can’t really be seen as the horrific sin that I’m making it out to be. My problem is what boys seem to expect.
From my experience of clubbing, especially as a sweet and innocent fresher, boys simply expect you to be easy. It’s not a question of getting to know the lad first, or having sweet, romantic walks around Cardiff Bay. If you dance in a club, wearing anything other than a large grey tracksuit, with no boyfriend-like figure standing next to you, you will be up for it. It’s just the way it goes. I’m sorry if I have offended anyone with my views, and boys, I don’t think it’s your fault this happens, I think it’s just drilled into you that fresher girls are up for it. But next time you’re in a club and see a girl wearing a large grey tracksuit, just remember, you are the ones who have driven me to this.